Today's thankful: A sense of humor

Last night I had Tiny Person in the tub with me so I could wash her hair. I asked her to wash my back while we were in there and handed her a bath pouf. She started rubbing it on my back and said, “Hey! I bet I could get a job scrubbing old people.” I sure am glad I have a sense of humor or that comment might have hurt.

Today’s thankful: I was wrong

I saw a commercial for Restasis eye drops on television. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, but I heard something about Herpes in your eyes. My first thought? How do you get Herpes in your EYES?! Is someone a bad shot? A few internet clicks later, I learned that the type of Herpes virus which can affect your eyes is NOT the same one that causes genital Herpes and is not an STD. The virus in question is the one which causes chicken pox and cold sores. Okay. Phew! I am so glad I was wrong about eye Herpes.

Today's thankful: Bifocal lenses

I got my first bifocals yesterday and I LOVE THEM! I have been needing them for over a year, but the optometrist a year ago told me to wait until I really needed them or I would hate them. I waited and am loving being able to see again. I don’t even care that I have to tip my head back a little like an old person to read the computer screen.

Today’s thankful: Youthful enthusiasm

I have taught my children to respect a closed door by knocking and waiting for admission. Thus, we don’t lock doors to bedrooms or bathrooms. Usually Youngest does a good job at following this rule. Today was not one of those days. I was in the tub and she burst through the door, saying “I’m sorry not to knock, Mom, but this is the coolest thing you have ever seen!” I was thinking oh, geez, what has she gotten in to? She opened her tiny hand and held out three Honey Nut Cheerios that were all stuck together. I seriously need to get her out of the house more.

Today’s thankful: My tiny person’s ability to be kind

Youngest has had a squirt gun she has been playing with for the last several days. I have repeatedly reminded her not to squirt it at me or the laptop. She has been doing a pretty good job.  Yesterday she walked into the kitchen and shot at me over the half wall. Now, I do acknowledge that she is about two foot nothing tall and couldn’t actually see me, but she knew where I was sitting and that the laptop was on my lap. The water she squirted hit me in the glasses. My children have all known since they began reaching for them that touching mommy’s glasses turns her into an instant bitch.

When the water hit my glasses, I took a deep breath and told Youngest to bring me the gun. She did, and was asking how long I was going to keep it as she handed it to me. I took it and squirted her in the face three or four times. That was a bad move on my part, because it fired up tiny person’s temper. She picked up a ball point pen and threw it at me. It hit my cheek point first. The pain and blood sent me after her in a hot hurry. She got her butt spanked for that one and sent to her room.

After the five-minute time out, as she is five years old, I went to talk about the incident. She returned to the family room with her blanket and pillow and lay down on the floor. I joined her and, because I am always tired, closed my eyes. Then one of the best things ever happened. She started taking care of me. She shared her blanket with me and kissed me on the forehead.

Our relationship has never been an easy one, and I’m pretty sure it will never be, but I sure am thankful that I have her and that, once in a while, she shows me that she can be kind.

Today's thankful: New experiences

I went to watch my first high school show choir contest today. Middlest is playing in the pit band, so I wanted to attend to support her efforts. Let me tell you, high school choir has come so far since the dark ages when I was in choir. We just called it choir then, and there was no dancing or pit band. There were no costume changes or big show hair, either. Modern show choir was extremely Gleeky, and I loved it! So even though not all of them work out as well as this one, I am thankful for new experiences.

Today’s Thankful: Hershey’s chocolate syrup

It doesn’t matter if it comes out of a can or plastic bottle, I am thankful for Hershey’s chocolate syrup. Sure, it is good on ice cream and makes a mean chocolate milk, but did you know it is delicious straight up? I have heard people say things like, “Oh, that’s too sweet.”  You know what? They are wrong. Dead wrong. Sometimes, when the kids have been sick for more than three days and it is mean week, a shot of straight up delicious chocolate is just what the doctor ordered. The best part is that you don’t have to take time to chew it. Mmm hmm.

Today's thankful: I took tiny person to the doctor

I was raised in a household where we rarely went to the doctor. Most of the time, my siblings and I were encouraged to fight off illness on our own. My parents are not Christian Scientists, but didn’t have a lot of money for unnecessary doctor visits. As a rule, if we were sick for longer than a week and didn’t show gradual improvement after the third day, we were taken to the doctor. As a consequence of my upbringing, I react in a similar fashion when my kids get sick. Today I violated my regular criteria and took tiny person to the doctor for what has been a six-day illness. She seemed to be getting better, but since her fever came back up over 100 after it had been less than that for a day, we sought medical intervention. She has strep. It was a very faint positive, so she almost got over it on her own, but the doc is treating it anyway. I am so thankful that I took tiny person to the doctor.

Apparently, untreated strep can complicate into rheumatic fever, kidney injury, or Toxic Shock Syndrome, to name a few. I never knew that, which is surprising, since I am not a rookie mom. Honestly, I thought rheumatic fever was a thing of the past and TSS only happened from not changing tampons often enough. Well, I’ll be. Just goes to show that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

Today's thankful: That sharp thing in my bed wasn't something freaky

In the wee hours of the morning, I felt something sharp poking my leg under the covers. As Spouse sleeps on the other side of me, I am not used to things being on that side in my bed with me. I reached down to sweep whatever it was out of my bed, and I felt something furry. Still in a state of semi-consciousness, I started to freak out a little. Then I realized that was I was feeling was the cat’s paw and front leg. She was sleeping with us and had stuck her front leg under the covers. Her claw was out because she was hanging on to the mattress.

Today's thankful: Soap in general, bath soap in particular

Back in the early and mid ‘90s, there was a cartoon on television called “David the Gnome.” It was created by Nelvana, the same company which brings us “Little Bear” and “Franklin.” Anyway, in “David” there were trolls. The fun part of having them around was that trolls were always trying to trade human babies for troll babies, because troll babies smelled so gross. My tiny person has been sick for the past four days and hasn’t wanted a bath. Not being a completely heartless witch, I have let her take a pass on bathing. I never smelled one in person, but I’m pretty sure she smells just like a troll baby, thus my thankfulness for bath soap. She is about to take the plunge.

Today's thankful: Slush on the sidewalk

I know that slush doesn’t sound like something to be thankful for, but after all of the ice, I think it is a very worthy thing. The ice makes it hard to stay in an upright position.

A long time ago, my dad told me a joke that went like this. A faith healer was working an event in a small town and was asking people who needed healing to come forward. A man, Mr. Greene, came up to the front to be healed of his lisp. Then a woman, Mrs. Smith came forward on crutches hoping to be healed of her inability to stand alone. The faith healer prayed over each of them, then sent them behind a screen and proceeded to whip the crowd into a spiritual frenzy. Then he told Mrs. Smith to throw one of her crutches over the screen. She did. Then he told her to throw the other one. Over the screen it came. Then he called to Mr. Greene and said, “Can you say a few words for us?” Mr. Greene responded, “Yeth! Mithuth Thmith jutht fell on her ath!”

Since dad told me that story, every time I have to walk on ice, I try very hard not to be Mithuth Thmith. Therefore, I am thankful for slush on the sidewalk instead of ice.

Today's thankful: Popsicles in a plastic tube

I don’t know what to call these things, except popsicles in a plastic tube as opposed to on a stick. One of my nieces used to call them poppie dogs. Hot dogs were hoppie dogs. At any rate, popsicles in a tube are GREAT! Not only are they good for keeping the swelling out of busted lips, they are cheap enough to take out to the playground and give to all the neighborhood kids. I have seen them magically make almost any kid quit crying from a skinned knee or bee sting. Over the past few days, though, popsicles have been kind of my savior. Tiny person has an extremely sore throat, and I am unable to get much liquid down her. I can, however, get her to eat popsicles. Lots of popsicles. The plastic tube keeps them from being messy when eaten while lying on the couch. Yay poppie dogs!

Today's thankful: Cell phones

Yesterday Youngest decided to spontaneously combust on the couch. I ran to the medicine basket and found only antihistamine and cough syrup. No acetaminophen or ibuprofen. The temperature was hovering around 19 with a wind chill of 9. I do not like the cold. Even maternal instinct wasn’t enough to get me quickly into my boots and coat, so I called Spouse and asked him to pick up some meds on the way home. He agreed and several text messages later to ascertain that he was buying the right thing, the meds arrived and baby girl’s fever was on its way out.

Today's thankful: Socks

Yes, socks. I am thankful for little cotton foot blankets. When I was a young woman working downtown, I wore a dress, pantyhose and heels every day to the office. And I was SO envious of all the men in their suits, comfy shoes and socks. Then one day, when I was past the point of caring what men thought, I bought myself a pair of comfy shoes and dress pants. And I wore socks. Granted, they were trouser socks, and not super cozy, but it was a start. Since that first day of workplace socks, I have discovered boots. You can wear socks with them, real socks, and nobody sees them. Yeah, socks are good.

Today's thankful: Dogs

Sure, there are lots of things to be thankful for when it comes to dogs, but today in particular, I am thankful for dogs who will eat anything.

It occurred to me as I was making pancakes for lunch today that the first two are usually dog pancakes, meaning they are too ugly to give to a human, so I feed them to the dog. She loves this plan.

When I was a kid, we had an outside dog who would, literally, try to eat anything we threw out the back door. One time my dad emptied a mousetrap from the garage with a still alive mouse in it. He tossed the squeaker out the back door, and the dog caught it midair.  Since she was a beagle, she swallowed it without chewing. She had the most bizarre look on her face for a while after that one. Made me think of the old woman who swallowed a spider that wiggled and jiggled and giggled inside her, ‘cept the dog wasn’t laughing.

Most of the time we threw actual food to the dog. Anytime there was a kitchen disaster, mom would just throw it out to the dog. One of my favorite things to do was throw the remainder of my dinner out to the dog. She would just get so tail wagging happy. We never had a garbage disposal. Didn’t need one; we had a dog.

I have a family dog now who doesn’t have the guttural constitution that my childhood dog had, even though she is part beagle. I had to learn the hard way that she can’t handle tomato products. Honestly, she can’t handle tomatoes or spices of any kind, which pretty much covers what I cook. She doesn’t get as many leftovers as I would like to give her because of her delicate constitution, but I do still enjoy throwing stuff out to the dog. And on pancake day, I can do just that.

Speller's the feller

Have you seen the Jimmy Dean’s commercial where the main focus is a girl in a spelling bee? Reminds me of my spelling bee days. No, I was never one of those kids who could take a credible guess based on the origin of the word, but I did win my class in each of the two years we did it at school and went on to the school-wide bee.

One year, my best friend won her class too, so we were in it together. I should mention that she was in the third grade that year. In the weeks preceding the event, we practiced together often. Did you know that it is easier to remember the spelling of a word if you jump on the bed while spelling it? True.

Anyway, the day of the big event arrived and bestie and I were getting down to the final five or so.  It was her turn, and the word was jewelry. She thought for a few seconds, then said, “Jewelry, G.” That is G for game over. I don’t remember my word, but I went out the next round too. We sure had a good time practicing though.

A few years ago, I was asked to participate in an adult spelling bee. This event was at a local library and instead of competing individually, we competed in teams of three. They would give the word then a few seconds for each team to write the word on a white board. Get it right, get a point. We got second to a team of Baptist women who obviously studied and memorized the entire book. They didn’t miss one the entire day. Kudos to them, but it would have been fun to win.

Today's thankful: Clean panties

Middlest was freaking out this morning because she didn’t have any clean panties. Good thing she knows how to do laundry. As an added bonus, she didn’t have a full load so had to put some of the family laundry in her basket. Score!

Anyway, as I sat in my chair contemplating a bubble tubby, it occurred to me that having clean panties is a very good thing.

On a semi related note, panty talk always makes me wonder how many pairs of panties other people pack for a trip. My personal number is three per day. Hey, you never know what life is going to throw at you, and I don’t want to have to go commando. Maybe mom yelled at me to put on clean underwear too much as a kid.

Today's thankful: Indoor plumbing

After watching the dog slip and slide all over the yard to take care of her business, I am sure thankful that I don’t have to bundle up and slide to the unheated outhouse to take care of business. I know there used to exist thunder mugs, but somebody had to empty and clean them, and I’m guessing it was the mom. As the resident mom, I do NOT want that job. Also, for the last couple of years, every time I have fallen on the ice (there have been a few), I ended up losing enough bladder control to add insult to injury. So, yes, I am thankful for indoor plumbing today.

Today's thankful: Coffee cups

Without the humble coffee cup, I would be sucking java out of the carafe. 

On an unrelated note, we have been stuck in the house for three days due to the ice storm. I don’t mind, really, but the local news is getting pretty boring. How many slip and fall stories do we really need to see?