Friday, September 30, 2011

Today’s thankful: I don’t wear high heels on hikes

Today I chaperoned a field trip with Youngest’s class. We went to Eagle Creek Park and learned about bugs. I do not like bugs. In fact, I don’t like outside much. Imagine my joy when we went into a room and had to look at different kinds of spiders and insects. Then we had to go outside and try to catch some in our bug nets. I had no idea that praying mantis were so plentiful in a grassy field. Had I known that little tidbit of information, I wouldn’t have willingly walked out into said field. After the bug catching adventure, we were led through the woods on a hike. Thankfully, the hike was more plant than bugs and I did learn about the pawpaw tree, aka Indiana banana. Did you know that deer won’t eat the pawpaw? It smells and/or tastes too nasty. Sadly, it won’t keep deer out of your garden if you plant them near your veggies. Yes, I had to ask.
Anyway, after the hike, we were directed to another room where we had to explore the critters that live in our local ponds and streams. I may never creek stomp again. Then we ate our home-packed lunches and had about 30 minutes to explore on our own. Of course, we had to run down to the reservoir and throw rocks. All in all, it wasn’t a horrible day. It could have been worse. At least the rain held off.
One item of note is that there was a mom wearing skinny jeans and high-heeled boots. For a hike through the woods, which we knew about in advance. I sooooo wanted to see her fall down a hill. Sadly, it didn’t happen. At first I thought my disdain for her was due to the wide gap in age, but upon further reflection, it stemmed from the fact that she didn’t have the good sense to wear appropriate shoes. Even as a teenager, I wouldn’t have worn high heels on a hike. So I guess my thankful for today is that my momma raised me with enough sense to leave my high heels home when hiking.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Today’s thankful: Beating the rain

Youngest and I got home this afternoon about two minutes before the skies opened up and gave everything a good soaking. We were happy and dry as we took off our shoes and settled in for the night.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Today’s thankful: A happy server

Eldest had to participate in an art show at Circle Center Mall today in the Arts Garden for her school. Middlest and I went down in the early afternoon to see her. I figured part of our visit would include lunch, and I was right. Eldest was hungry when we arrived, so I took the girls to Johnny Rocket’s. I told them that if you played Respect on the jukebox, the wait staff would all dance. The girls thought that sounded fun, so we dropped in our nickel and waited. When the song came up and no one danced, I asked our server why they weren’t dancing. Apparently, there are several songs to which the staff will dance, but the diner has to be pretty empty and all of the servers have to know the dance. We expressed our disappointment. Then she did the neatest thing. She gathered the servers and asked what song they knew. Then she put that song on the overhead and the wait staff danced for us. One of the guys did NOT want to participate, so he was kind of glaring and hating life, making it super fun to laugh at his expense. All in all, it was a lot of fun and I am so glad we were lucky enough to have a happy server who not only brought us food, but catered to our whims.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Today’s thankful: She ate it anyway

I once dated a guy whose mom always tried a new recipe on Wednesday nights. When I learned this little tidbit, I asked him if he and his siblings had avoided the house on those nights. He told me that they actually made an effort to be there on Wednesdays because sometimes the food was really tasty. A bonus to being there meant you had a vote as to whether or not the recipe was a keeper. A while back, while listening to my family complain of yet another new dish, I instituted the only new recipes on Wednesday rule. For the most part, it has been a good experiment. Last week I decided to make chicken fried steak for my family. It isn’t a new recipe, but one that I personally have not made for years. When dinner time rolled around, Youngest yelled, “Oh, ick! What did you do to the meat?” I informed her that it was chicken fried steak, kind of like fried chicken, but with steak. She looked at me for a few moments, then said, “What day is today?” Busted. I admitted to her it was Thursday, but that this recipe wasn’t a new one. Thankfully, she liked it well enough to continue eating and let the matter drop.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Today’s thankful: Two extra hours in my day

Okay, so it isn’t exactly two extra hours, but I am choosing to view it that way. I was scheduled to volunteer for our marching band’s invitational today from noon to 5:30. Oh happy day when I received an email informing me that I didn’t have to show up until 2:00. What did I do with my extra two hours? I thought about doing some chores or baking a tasty treat for my family. Truly, the possibilities for this gift were endless. What I did instead was sit in my chair and watch Chopped on the DVR. I don’t care what you think. Those two hours were not wasted.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Today’s thankful: I stayed home with sick Youngest

I have been home with a sick Youngest for two days. While watching Max & Ruby today, I found myself wanting to earn Bunny Scout merit badges. I don’t want to be a Bunny Scout, but it would be kind of fun to earn adult merit badges for regular adult activities. I don’t mean military medals, but wouldn’t it be fun to earn a merit badge for, say, getting three kids ready for school in the allotted time with all necessary tools in their backpacks? How about a creative lunch packing badge, or maybe a holiday cookie badge? I am beginning to think that I have been too long listening to whiny sick kid and not enough time in adult conversation. I am thankful, though, that I have been the person to be able to care for her.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Today’s thankful: Middle of the night snuggles

Spouse and I don’t usually snuggle up while asleep because he is like sleeping next to a blast furnace and I get too hot if he touches me, which wakes me up. When I am cold, I skooch close enough to get the desired amount of heat, but he lets me take the lead. So last night I was in the middle of an extremely bad dream and, in my sleep, I felt him cuddle up to me and in my dream I knew I wasn’t alone. The bad dream stopped. This morning he told me I was crying in my sleep so he snuggled up. I thanked him. And I am thankful for him.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Today's thankful: It only cost a hundred bucks

We all make mistakes. Some of them are more costly than others, but they all have a price. My Middlest was selling discount cards for band. She lost 10 of them, at $20 each. I paid the $200 to make it go away, after she frantically searched for three days. I am happy that she wanted to pay for her mistake out of her savings account. Spouse and I didn't want her to do that. The fact that she wanted to was cause enough for joy (and a little pride). Thinking a $200 mistake was actually a pretty small misstep, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that half of that money would be put into her individual account to pay band fees. Yay! Her mistake was half as big as we thought it was, and for that I am thankful.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Today’s thankful: There was no blood

My cat, Tinker, has decided that it is great fun to jump up and attack our behinds as we are sitting on the porcelain throne. This morning her attack hit home and she grabbed my hiney hard enough to make me yelp. She got some air time for that. The good news is that she didn’t break the skin.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Today’s thankful: My children didn’t witness my bad behavior

I went to the grocery today before picking Youngest up from the bus. Thankfully, I left myself a lot of extra time. After choosing and placing $133 worth of food items on the conveyor, I realized that I had left my little wallet thingy in my band bag from the weekend. A heartbeat of panic was followed by the realization that I still had my checkbook. I continued with the checkout process and wrote the check. Then the clerk informed me that she had to actually see my driver’s license to finish the transaction. I told her I didn’t have it, and she told me she could hold my stuff and I could run home and get it. A quick look at the time told me I would have to hurry, but going back home for ID would work and still give me time to make the bus.

It was in this frame of mind that my bad behavior happened. I am not in any way trying to excuse what I did. It was inexcusable. There is a place in this particular strip center where three parking spaces are placed parallel to and in front of a few stores, end to end. The spaces are on the right as you head west, making them a legal spot for westbound travelers. As I approached the spots, I saw a car that was parked there headed east start to pull out. I stopped to avoid being hit. The driver stopped and motioned me forward. As I started to roll, he started to pull out again. I stopped again, only to be motioned forward by him. At this point, the old, illegally parked fart started clapping and making a face like, Yay! The stupid girl finally figured it out.” His jackassery pissed me off. I flipped him off as I rolled slowly past, making eye contact the whole time so he could be certain it was directed at him. I am not particularly proud of myself, but as I was relating the story to my grown nephew, he informed me that he would have parked in front of the guy’s car and gotten out to inform the guy what an ass he was. So I am a little thankful that I refrained from taking it that far. I am a lot thankful that none of my children witnessed my bad behavior.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Today’s thankful: I took a chance on being a box mom

Yesterday evening was the first time we dressed our band kids for a home football game. I am a box mom. What is a box mom, you ask? Our band has big boxes on wheels, which hold the uniforms of 14 kids. My fellow box mom and I are tasked with ensuring our 14 band kids are ready to go, with hair done, uniforms clean and complete, and shoes shined. Then when the kids are done, we ensure they hang up their uniforms and toss their socks and gloves in the bag to be washed. Then they get a snack. The kids were measured for uniforms in July. Last night, the first time they wore said uniforms, there were several last minute adjustments to be made. It is amazing how quickly a teenaged boy can grow.

Anyway, after a 45-minute frenzy of activity, our kids were all dressed, the freshmen educated, and my co-box mom and I were left, sweating and smiling, in the midst of a row of dirty sneakers, all neatly clipped together.

Taking care of the band babies is a lot of work, it is a gigantic time suck, but it is one of the most rewarding volunteer positions I have ever had. This task is exhausting, and will take up every Saturday from now until Thanksgiving, but I am so glad I took the chance and signed up that first time.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Today’s thankful: At least to a crazy-eyed guy I look young enough to be preggers

One of the restrooms at work is near a waiting area for patients. Right across from the doors is a small seating area with a television. There was a crazy-eyed guy sitting on the little sofa when I approached the door, and he smiled at me kind of weird. He was either special or completely lacking social skills. The jury is still out on that, but I smiled back because we are supposed to be friendly to patients.

Anyway, when I exited the restroom, he was standing outside the door waiting for me to come out. Yeah, that was kind of creepy. Then he said, “good luck.” Umm, okay. I said, “thank you.” Then he said, “Do you know what you’re having?” I said no and kept on walking. This is what happens when you are shaped like an apple. I guess I should thank my parents for passing that particular gift on to me. Instead of being mad about it, because, really, there was something obviously wrong with him, I decided to be thankful that, at least to a crazy-eyed person, I look young enough to be expecting. I am probably delusional, but if I believe otherwise, I might have to get depressed.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Today’s thankful: She didn’t really kill the cat

Middlest has been tasked in the last six months or so with keeping the bathroom that everyone uses clean. I bought her the requested cleaning products and showed her how to do all of the tasks. Then when it became time to replenish the cleaning supplies, I bought her the green line of products from Clorox. She called me a hippie.

Two nights ago, she came into my room after I had fallen asleep and woke me up with “Mom! I think I killed the cat.” Yeah, that will wake you up from a sound sleep. I had forgotten to teach her to put the lid down when using toilet cleaner around small children or pets. Oops. My bad. Anyway, I told her to go get the bottle and read what it said about accidental ingestion. There was nothing. I had her read the ingredient list. Nothing bad there. She washed the cat’s paws off and went to bed, hopeful that she wouldn’t wake up with a dead cat on her bed.

Tinker is fine. She didn’t even throw up. And Middlest is super happy to have a hippie for a mom.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Today’s thankful: It was just a dream

I had a bizzaro dream last night wherein I was shopping for a bridal gown. For myself. I am not only happily married, but in the unlikely event I ever found myself in the market for a dress in which to get married, it most certainly wouldn’t come from some frou frou bridal shop. In the case of my dream, the shop was kind of like a Kleinfeld’s from Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. Middlest makes me watch that show waaaay to often.
Anyway, in my bridal gown dream, I was frantically trying to find a dress that wasn’t white, champagne, ivory, etc. I was also trying to find one that fit. All of the dresses in my dream store were a size three. I haven’t ever been a size three. I am very far removed from that size at this stage of life. I wanted a dress that was bohemian and deep red, or something like that. I finally found one, and not one snotty salesperson was to be found. Then, when I turned around to pick up the dress and carry it with me to find someone, it was gone.
Well, about that time I woke up in a cold sweat because I was getting married again. Thank goodness it was only a dream. One husband is plenty.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Today’s thankful: My kids knew it wasn’t a balloon

In local news this morning, a young girl found what she thought was a balloon on the school playground and put it in her mouth. I just threw up a little. She now has to be tested for STD’s. I know for a fact that this condom wasn’t the first one ever found on a playground, because my kids have found them in our neighborhood playground. Luckily, they were old enough to know what they were when they found them and left them alone.

On a semi-related note, my ex-mother-in-law refused to go to any Laundromat to do her wash because when she was in college she found a used condom in one of the dryers. It scarred her for life.