Monday, April 18, 2011

I can learn new tricks

I took Eldest to a concert in Chicago last weekend. As happened when I took her to see the same band four years ago, I learned a few new things. First, I am completely too old to be in a mosh pit, however tame it is. Second, while it is no longer possible to get a contact high from a concert, it is completely possible to get one in the line outside waiting to get through security. Third, the security pat down I received was a lot friendlier than I ever cared to be with another woman.
I also learned that my darling daughter can handle herself in a crowd. She wound up dragging me around like a pull toy. My only complaint is that while she can squeeze through a six-inch space, I cannot, thus causing me to get stuck like Pooh in a honey tree before being sprung free.
Finally, I learned that there may be a version of the mile high club I have not previously learned about. While standing, literally, pressed against sweaty strangers, I glanced to my right, where Eldest was standing. She motioned me with her eyes to look next to her. There was a couple of kids who may have been 15 or so, and they were having sex. At first I was sure it couldn’t be, but much like a train wreck, I couldn’t look away. I swear on all that is holy, I saw his “O” face. At that point, Eldest looked at me and mouthed, “I feel dirty.” Yah, I did too, but relieved at the same time that it wasn’t my daughter.

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