Nature isn't being so kind

I have been struggling a bit lately with aging in general, and choosing how I want to age specifically. When I was a twenty something, my only real goal was to always look good for a woman my age. I still think it is a good goal, but looking good for a woman my age has become harder and harder to define.
It seemed in the early ‘80s that looking good for a woman in her forties pretty much consisted of exercising to maintain a healthy body weight and wearing more skillfully applied make up than is required of a younger woman.
Now that I am a middle aged woman, it seems that more is required to look good than living a healthy lifestyle. For example, hair color, neck waddle and sagging body parts all need to be addressed at this age.
With the exception of a few years in my self-absorbed teens, I have been happy with the hair color that my genes have provided. In fact, I have always really liked gray hair and was looking forward to having it. But then I started noticing that most of the women my age are dying their hair, covering the gray. Now to color or not to color is the question.
As for neck waddle, I have always known that it was going to happen. The thing is, I expected it to happen much, much later in life, like senior citizen age. It isn’t bad yet, but has definitely gotten a foothold. I have always had an aversion to pain, but that Lifestyle Lift is starting to look pretty good.
Which brings us to the aforementioned sagging body parts. I wasn’t completely thrilled with the sagging milk bags after the birth of Eldest, but would have been okay if the sagging had stopped there. Now I find that even the skin above my kneecaps is sagging. The only options I can think to fix them are having some work done or gaining a lot of weight to stretch out the skin.
So now I am struggling with looking in the mirror expecting to see the young, vibrant woman I am on the inside and seeing instead the middle aged frump bucket that is the outside. I am at the point where I think I would have some work done, but I have this aversion to pain. And therein lies the struggle. How do I define looking good for a woman my age?
The answer wasn’t simple, but after much soul searching I have decided that my definition of aging well and looking good for a woman my age doesn’t include having any work done. If I chose to color, whiten, nip and tuck, I wouldn’t be being true to myself. I know that my failure to enhance what nature has provided will put me behind the beauty curve among my peers, but I think I can be okay with that.