Today’s thankful: None of the first graders are missing an ear

No, it is not a Van Gogh thing. That would be much better. Alas, this thankful centers on Youngest and her actions. Apparently, while in the cafeteria, one of the boys in her class suggested that Youngest might be a poop eater. Poor fool thought he had gotten away with teasing my girl. She waited until they were outside at recess. She then got close enough to grab hold of his ear and try to twist it off. When asked why she hurt her friend, she told the teacher she was mad. No mention of being called a poop eater. I got to discuss that one on the phone with the school. Yay me! I have been saying it from the moment she was born. Youngest is trying to kill me. I am very glad all she got was a stern talking to, but my real thankful is that young boy still has both of his ears attached to his head. Oh! To make the events of the day even more exciting, when Spouse took Youngest to the park to play, the boy was there and they played like best friends. I guess, in spite of the grown ups, justice was served and all returned to normal.

Today’s thankful: Baby’s blue eyes are fine

Youngest came out of her room and informed me that she couldn’t go to school because her right eye suddenly was unable to detect the color red. I pointed to a red object and asked her what color it was and she said, “white.” Then she said, “Oh, no! Now I can’t see green!” Again, I asked what color a green item was and she said, “white.” At that point, I told her that being color blind wouldn’t keep her out of school. Middlest informed her that one is born with color blindness and that it is more common in boys than girls. Youngest stuck like glue to her story. Then Middlest asked what color a pink item was and Youngest said, “pink.” Middlest informed her that pink is a shade of red and if she were really color blind to red, it was unlikely that she would be able to see pink either. At that point, realizing her story was dying a slow death from all the holes her sister had poked in it, rubbed her eye and said, “Hey! The colors are starting to come back into my eye!”

It is possible I should have gone with her color blind story, though. Today on the playground she tried to twist the ear off of a boy at recess because he made her mad. I guess I am thankful she didn’t accomplish that particular task.

Today's thankful: Dharma and Greg

Remember the sitcom Dharma and Greg starring Jenna Elfman and Thomas Gibson? It is in reruns on TV Guide channel. Since Eldest is a fan of Criminal Minds and Thomas Gibson, I introduced her to the show. Middlest quickly joined us, and now I get to happily share 30 minutes with my teens in the evening.

Today’s thankful: She didn’t say it in front of a minister

Youngest and I were in the car the other afternoon and she said, “I know why Christmas is called Christmas. Because Santa’s other name is Kris Kringle.” Really? Wow. So anyway, after a few mom questions, I figured out that she knew we celebrated Jesus’ birth at Christmas, but she had no idea that Jesus and Christ were the same dude. Perhaps I should add that particular curse to my vocabulary so she’ll know.

When I was about three, in Sunday school one day, we were being rowdy. The minister happened into the room and said, “Boys and girls, settle down. You are in the house of Jesus Christ.” While my mom watched, horrified, from behind the two-way mirror, I wrapped myself around the minister’s leg and kept shouting, “My mommy says bad words too!” To make it even better, my mom never used that curse phrase. It was one of my Catholic dad’s faves, though.

Today’s thankful: She didn’t mention chopping

Youngest always says that I am the one making her late for school in the morning, even though she is the one lying in bed not getting dressed. Her dad thinks it is pretty entertaining. A few days ago he asked her if mommy was making her late again. She responded in the affirmative. He then asked her what they should do with me. She said, “We could throw her in a dumpster.” He, of course, quashed that idea. I found myself not being upset about the dumpster, but really, really thankful that she didn’t suggest chopping me up before putting me in the dumpster.

Today's thankful: I'm pretty sure the kids are wrong

I won't lie. My brain has been wonky for the past three or four weeks. Of course, that period of time covers Christmas, an upper respiratory thing, sleep deprivation and returning from vacation to the work routine. My big girls keep suggesting the possibility that I have had a stroke and it did heavy damage to my brain. I am pretty sure they are wrong.

Today’s thankful: I survived chaperoning band kids for a week

I got back last week from a trip to California where I chaperoned band kids. We had an awesome week. There were many thankfuls, some bigger than others. Our itinerary was packed, and the time allotted for sleeping was usually under four hours. My thankfuls for the week, in no particular order:
We returned with the same number of children with which we left.
We didn’t lose any of the kids when the tour guide ditched us gave us free time in Los Angeles.
None of the children were caught in flagrante delicto.
There was breakfast meat most of the days.
Most of the puking was due to air sickness, anxiety or dehydration instead of a virus or booze.
Everyone seemed to have a great time.
Everywhere we went, adults commented on how well behaved and polite our kids were.
I got to share the teacup ride with my baby girl.
My roomies were awesome and didn’t smother me in my sleep for snoring.
Each and every one of the kids marched in full uniform in the parade. This means we managed to get 275 uniforms across the country without losing a shoe or glove.
All of the children who started the parade made it the full five miles in the heat.
Neither the sugar in the bed incident nor the toilet papering the room, nor the late night pizza delivery were my problems to deal with.