Little thankful: It wasn't my kid

I was in line at the grocery store after work yesterday and heard a small human shrieking and carrying on the next row over. Honestly, I didn't think much of it, because it happens, especially at the end of the day when everyone is tired. The thing that made this one memorable is the teenaged cashier and baggers were standing there smiling and kind of impressed with the level of intensity this kid had achieved. The cashier said, "Man, that kid is MAD!"

And that kid WAS mad. He was having a full-on snotty face, screaming, sweating, boot losing meltdown apparently over one of those little balloons on a stick that says get well. His mom remained calm throughout, which is something I am not sure I could/would have done. As we were exiting the store, I had to stop as she tried to collect kids and clothing items because they were in front of me. She looked at me and all I could do was smile and say, "it happens." And I was so very thankful that mine are big enough that we are past public meltdowns of that caliber.

Today’s thankful: She didn’t really mean it

I was going through Youngest’s Friday folder and looking through her school papers for the week. They have been doing clubhouse activities lately and had to write about their own dream clubhouse. I always enjoy reading what my babies write, but this one gave me a start. See if you can spot the thing that freaked me the eff out. Youngest’s clubhouse is “huge, sparkily and pink.” No surprise there. Further down the page, “My clubhouse has a chocololite fountin, pizza parlor, plazma grinade, pool, diving board. . .” As my brain screeched to a halt, I silently gathered my wits and asked my tiny girl why she wanted a plasma grenade, because I don’t want to be one of those clueless parents who has no idea her kid is a wacko. Also, and here is the biggie, I had her tested and they said she was fine! Fine people do not want to have plasma grenades anywhere, let alone in their pink sparkly clubhouse! Or maybe they do. I don’t know anymore. Thankfully, she didn’t mean plasma grenade. She meant plasma TV. I cannot even begin to express the magnitude of my relief.

Today’s thankful: No batteries were required

Youngest asked if she could help me cook dinner last night, and because I was peeling potatoes and wanted to eat before bedtime, I told her that I needed to do it myself. Ordinarily, I let her help cook when she asks, but I in a weakened state from the hunger. She squawked a little, then left the kitchen, only to return to play underneath my feet. I miss that girl during the day, so I let her stay. I was extremely pleased when I actually looked at what she was doing, because there were no electronics involved and she was using her imagination. She had fashioned a bowling game out of things she had found around the house. Her “pins” included two bottles of glue, a plastic toothbrush holder, an empty vitamin bottle, spice container, and water bottle. None of the balls in her vast supply provided enough of a challenge, though, and she eventually wound up using the severed head of a baby doll. That’s not sick at all. Right?

AR, popcorn, and root beer floats

Let me just put this out here. I hate Accelerated Reader. I know it has many uses and I applaud it as a way to check a child’s reading comprehension, but I still don’t like it. I haven’t been a fan of AR for many reasons, not the least of which is Middlest, who refused to read any book that didn’t have an available AR test so she could get the points. She missed out on some good stories because of it. Eldest had a friend who would miss enough points on the AR test to stay at the reading level she chose to be at instead of what she was capable of, because the teachers wouldn’t let her read what she liked because the AR level was too low. Since I will read just about anything with words, it broke my heart to see a child denied a book she wanted to read. Fast forward 15 years and Youngest is coming home upset about missing her AR goal and not being allowed to attend the popcorn party. If AR was a person, I would slap that bitch into next week. But because AR inanimate, I was forced to higher ground. I my girl her not to worry about it and promised to pack popcorn in her lunch the day of the popcorn party. She is seven, and that promise was enough move her thoughts to more pleasant things, like who got in trouble at school and no, it wasn’t her today. Youngest wasn’t sure when the popcorn party would be, so I packed popcorn in her lunch two days in a row. I am awesome like that. Anyway, yesterday was the popcorn party, which she did not attend. All would have been well in my kingdom, complete with singing and dancing with unicorns, but the popcorn machine was broken. The teacher substituted root beer floats for popcorn. I don’t have any idea how she pulled root beer and ice cream out of her hind end or how to pack vanilla ice cream in a lunchbox. So upset was Youngest by the root beer floats and attendant gloating by her peers, we have scheduled a trip after school tonight to the grocery for ice cream and red pop. I was able to convince her that red pop makes a way better float than root beer, because I like it better, and she agreed. I probably should have encouraged her to try harder to make her goal next time, but I wouldn’t want her to think I had been abducted and had an alien robot put in my place.

Today’s thankful: I learned to dole out truth slowly

A few months ago, Youngest asked about the tooth fairy. Since she is getting close to seven years old, I decided to tell her the truth. She took the news very well. I toyed with telling her everything, but after my experience with Eldest, decided to let her ask about each magical being on her own. With Eldest, I thought it would be less painful to just get all the bad news over at once, so when she asked about the Easter Bunny, I told her about all of them. She yelled, “I only asked you about the Easter Bunny!”
So not terribly long ago I started taking Youngest’s innocence with the tooth fairy. Yesterday she asked me about Santa. I told her the truth, including the part about him being a symbol of the magic of giving to others. She took the news like a trooper, then went to her room and sobbed. She wouldn’t let me in for a while. It broke my heart. When she finally let me in, I assured her that nothing would change, since it had been me all along. That information lessened the sting a bit, thankfully.
About an hour after the Santa incident, Youngest came to me and said, “The Easter Bunny is real.” I asked if she was telling me or asking me. She said, “telling.” I asked why she thought he was real, and she informed me that the bunny brings jelly beans. I said, “Don’t they sell jelly beans in the store?” She informed me, with a DUH! sound in her voice, that the store is where he gets the jelly beans. I guess a girl can only handle so much truth at a time.

Today’s thankful: She didn’t say it in front of a minister

Youngest and I were in the car the other afternoon and she said, “I know why Christmas is called Christmas. Because Santa’s other name is Kris Kringle.” Really? Wow. So anyway, after a few mom questions, I figured out that she knew we celebrated Jesus’ birth at Christmas, but she had no idea that Jesus and Christ were the same dude. Perhaps I should add that particular curse to my vocabulary so she’ll know.

When I was about three, in Sunday school one day, we were being rowdy. The minister happened into the room and said, “Boys and girls, settle down. You are in the house of Jesus Christ.” While my mom watched, horrified, from behind the two-way mirror, I wrapped myself around the minister’s leg and kept shouting, “My mommy says bad words too!” To make it even better, my mom never used that curse phrase. It was one of my Catholic dad’s faves, though.

Today’s thankful: I didn’t trust my six-year-old to pack her own lunch

This morning when I asked Youngest if she wanted school lunch or packed lunch, she said, “You don’t need to worry about it. I packed my own lunch.” She had gotten up after I put her and I to bed and packed herself a lunch. I told her that I would check it just to be sure she had done a good job. I am SO glad I did. She had packed herself about a quarter cup of yogurt and six grapes. The good news is that she had filled her beverage container with water.

Today’s thankful: Punishment doesn’t have to be boring

In Wednesday’s agenda, the teacher had written that I should see the attached note. There was no note attached. When I mentioned the missing note to Youngest, she informed me that she had chased down and tackled a boy on the playground and got in trouble. I asked her why she did it and was told he made her mad. I asked what happened next and she said nothing. Apparently, she wasn’t actually punished for the tackle. I noted to the teacher that I didn’t get an attached note. I did, however, get a phone call after school today.
First, I feel it necessary to note that in Eldest and Middlest’s collective 23 years of school, I have NEVER received a phone call from a teacher. When Eldest figured out with whom I was speaking, she told Youngest to go hide and try to think of a way to save herself.
So the teacher informed me that she talked to Youngest about appropriate ways to express one’s anger. She then informed Youngest that there are many other ways besides notes for teachers to communicate with parents. Hence, the phone call.
I am now trying to come up with a good punishment. She is in her room worrying about the fact that I am going to discuss her misbehavior with Daddy before we make a decision as to her punishment. Yeah, that IS part of the punishment. Shh! Don’t tell.

Today’s thankful: My parenting skills aren’t under close scrutiny

I saw in the headlines today that Kate Gosselin, former reality television star, is under attack by parenting groups because one of her kids acted like a regular kid. Apparently, when Gosselin was picking up her kids after school, one of them crawled under the van WHILE IT WAS RUNNING! Yeah, okay. I really fail to see the big deal here. First, kids sometimes do stupid things. Second, she was firmly in the driver’s seat of said van, presumably in control of the vehicle. The parenting groups are saying she should have gotten out of the car to collect the kids. Whatever. In my humble opinion, she was just acting like a regular mom. The kids are big enough to get into the van under their own power, and she was allowing that to happen. I know how giddy I was each time one of my kids was able to get in the car without my assistance. Aren’t we trying to raise these tiny people to be independent adults? Well, you gotta start somewhere. I guess the bottom line for me is that I am not a perfect mother, but I do try my best to keep my kids safe. As for Kate Gosselin not getting out of her van to collect the kids, I don’t have enough information to get on her case. If she did, in fact, take a head count and make sure all eight of her babies were buckled in before she took off, there was no harm done. All eight of them could have crawled safely under the van if she counted before taking off. Without that critical bit of information, I am inclined to say give the girl a break. I am not a perfect parent and don’t expect anyone else to be, either.

Today's thankful: My children haven't pulled a Lohan

I saw a picture of Lindsay Lohan on the Yahoo! front page again, looking more unrefined and mentally unstable than usual. I kind of expect to see photos of her shaving her head a la Brittney soon. I didn't read the story, nor do I care to. The reason I mention it is solely to share my thankful for today. My children thus far have not been to jail, nor have they seen the inside of a courtroom. They don't routinely behave badly in public. I am certain of this fact because if they did behave badly, no small number of busybodies would be more than happy to let me know about it. Are my kids perfect? Absolutely not. Have they been working in front of a film crew for most of their lives? Nope. Are they capable of making bad decisions and getting into trouble with the law? I'm pretty sure they are, but so far have managed to keep their noses clean. And for that small miracle, I am very thankful.

Today’s thankful: I don’t wear high heels on hikes

Today I chaperoned a field trip with Youngest’s class. We went to Eagle Creek Park and learned about bugs. I do not like bugs. In fact, I don’t like outside much. Imagine my joy when we went into a room and had to look at different kinds of spiders and insects. Then we had to go outside and try to catch some in our bug nets. I had no idea that praying mantis were so plentiful in a grassy field. Had I known that little tidbit of information, I wouldn’t have willingly walked out into said field. After the bug catching adventure, we were led through the woods on a hike. Thankfully, the hike was more plant than bugs and I did learn about the pawpaw tree, aka Indiana banana. Did you know that deer won’t eat the pawpaw? It smells and/or tastes too nasty. Sadly, it won’t keep deer out of your garden if you plant them near your veggies. Yes, I had to ask.

Anyway, after the hike, we were directed to another room where we had to explore the critters that live in our local ponds and streams. I may never creek stomp again. Then we ate our home-packed lunches and had about 30 minutes to explore on our own. Of course, we had to run down to the reservoir and throw rocks. All in all, it wasn’t a horrible day. It could have been worse. At least the rain held off.

One item of note is that there was a mom wearing skinny jeans and high-heeled boots. For a hike through the woods, which we knew about in advance. I sooooo wanted to see her fall down a hill. Sadly, it didn’t happen. At first I thought my disdain for her was due to the wide gap in age, but upon further reflection, it stemmed from the fact that she didn’t have the good sense to wear appropriate shoes. Even as a teenager, I wouldn’t have worn high heels on a hike. So I guess my thankful for today is that my momma raised me with enough sense to leave my high heels home when hiking.

Today’s thankful: She ate it anyway

I once dated a guy whose mom always tried a new recipe on Wednesday nights. When I learned this little tidbit, I asked him if he and his siblings had avoided the house on those nights. He told me that they actually made an effort to be there on Wednesdays because sometimes the food was really tasty. A bonus to being there meant you had a vote as to whether or not the recipe was a keeper. A while back, while listening to my family complain of yet another new dish, I instituted the only new recipes on Wednesday rule. For the most part, it has been a good experiment. Last week I decided to make chicken fried steak for my family. It isn’t a new recipe, but one that I personally have not made for years. When dinner time rolled around, Youngest yelled, “Oh, ick! What did you do to the meat?” I informed her that it was chicken fried steak, kind of like fried chicken, but with steak. She looked at me for a few moments, then said, “What day is today?” Busted. I admitted to her it was Thursday, but that this recipe wasn’t a new one. Thankfully, she liked it well enough to continue eating and let the matter drop.

Today’s thankful: It wasn’t my kid who flipped shit in class

Youngest went to kindergarten with a little boy last year who always had a little trouble being good, and was really annoying, but who really didn’t do anything noteworthy. He is in her first-grade class this year. On Tuesday of their first full week of school, he flipped shit and threw such a major fit that “Miss M” (I have no idea who she is) had to come “from somewhere” (in the school, I am assuming) to dig him out from under his desk and remove him from the classroom. Then, three days later on Friday, he threw another full-on freak fest. Miss M was again summoned to remove him from the classroom. I am SO thankful it wasn’t my child throwing the fit. We all know it isn’t out of the realm of possibility for her to throw one.

Today's thankful: Middlest is making grown up decisions

Yesterday evening when I picked Middlest up from band practice, she was in the throes of a dilemma. I told her what I thought she should do, then told her that she was old enough to decide for herself and I would support whatever she decided. Then I reminded her that, as always, she could blame me for her decision if she didn't feel comfortable taking the hit. She decided on the course of action that I thought most prudent AND took the responsibility for her decision. I am so proud of her. I know we still have a long way to go to responsible adult, but this was a very good step.

Today's thankful: Eldest called me

Anyone who has ever shared space with a teen knows how very little they like to talk to the adults in their lives. My eldest today received some happy news and called me while she was still giddy. It was a treat to get to share that moment with her. She is really good about texting me, as are most teens, but the phone calls are a lot less frequent. It was a good day.

Today’s thankful: My tiny person

Six years ago, Tiny Person came tumbling into this world like a stunt woman. She did a forward roll on the way out, and landed with such panache, I knew raising her was going to be a wild ride. We went to Splash Island today to celebrate her day, then to Chili’s for dinner and are now home for cake. She wanted a helium balloon, so we stopped on the way home and bought her one. It was such a simple way to make her day. She said this was the best birthday ever. That is reason enough to be happy. She reminds me every day why I call her a surprise instead of a mistake. I wouldn’t trade her for the world, and am so very thankful that she is a part of my life.

Today’s thankful: Last day of kindergarten

I HATE the kindergarten year. It isn’t that I mind sending my kids to school, because I don’t. What I detest is sending a five-year-old to school for two and a half hours each day. What a waste of everyone’s time. Granted, many kindergarteners (including Youngest) are not ready for a full day of learning, but I am all for just letting them skip the big K and start first grade when they are six. It was good enough for me. Back in the way back long ago, kindergarten was more like a daycare facility which included a little bit of preschool learning. Remember that? At any rate, after my third stent of kindergarten hell, I am free at last, free at last.

Today’s thankful: I am not as stupid as Youngest believes me to be

We all know that Youngest thinks I am an idiot. If there had been any doubt, she removed it last night. We were at Middlest’s induction into the high school National Honor Society. During the ceremony, they asked all of the new inductees, current high school members and parents who were members to stand and take the oath. I stood and started to participate, when Youngest got a shocked look on her face and said, loudly, “*gasp* Why are YOU standing up?” I really hate to consider what she will think of me when she gets to be a teenager.

Today’s thankful: I took time to cuddle

I would like to think that I am not alone in the fact that sometimes I get too busy to really be present and indulge in a good cuddle with Youngest. She is almost six and super busy, so the opportunity to hug her is rare. Even so, sometimes she climbs up on me when I am in the middle of working and I don’t truly enjoy the interruption. This morning, as I was checking e-mail and organizing my day, Youngest climbed up on my lap for some cuddles. She wasn’t feeling super well when I put her to bed, so I wanted to check her out. I put my laptop down and engaged in some cuddle time. Then the most wonderful thing happened. My baby girl stayed on my lap, her tiny arms wrapped around my neck, and I got five full minutes of stroking her back, smelling her hair and feeling her heartbeat next to mine. She lasted a lot longer than usual, and I am so glad that I set my work aside to indulge in the moment.

Today's thankful: It wasn't chicken pox

This morning Youngest came into the bathroom while I was in the tubby. As she pulled up her shirt to use the pot, she noticed some pink splotches on her belly and sides. She said, “Oh no! I hope I don’t have chicken pox!”

I dragged her closer to inspect the splotches, because they were not a normal skin tone pink, were irregularly shaped and rather large. After a few seconds, because I am an experienced mom, I told her to go look in her bed and see if there was an open marker or stamper. She returned a few minutes later with one of those glow bracelets which she informed me had cracked open. I don’t even know how it got in her bed. I swear I drag all of the toys out at least every other day. I am pretty sure she gets up after I put her to bed and gathers things.